National Transitions and Painted Rocks

People aren’t the only ones who go through transitions. So do countries. Just as ours is doing right now. All the turmoil, anger, arguing, cruelty, incivility, and even some mass shootings are signs of it. The old way (or at least the illusion of it) is ending, and a new beginning lies ahead—so we are most definitely navigating the In-Between, unsure of our footing on the way to creating our nation’s future. The various factions each believe their way is the right way, and all fear to give an inch, lest they lose whatever advantage they believe they have. We seem to have lost the desire and ability to compromise and to listen with understanding and compassion to the other side (we did this once, right?). As a result, many people are suffering unnecessarily.

It helps me, a little at least, to remember that this situation is Story on a grand scale. Remember, everything is story. We automatically invent narratives based on our experiences, and then we believe that those inventions are Truth. We don’t even realize this; it’s just the way our brains work. This is not necessarily a problem, unless we reach a point where we believe our truth is the absolute truth and persecute others who believe otherwise.

Here’s the thing, though: Because we made up this story of division and separation, we can make up a new one. One of caring and kindness, with a compassionate understanding of various viewpoints, so that we may all be buoyed by the spirit of cooperation, instead of drowned by the angry competition that favors only a privileged few.

Yes, I know this sounds impossible and naïve. Maybe it is. Hell, it probably is. But here is one tiny experience that sustains my hope.

Last week, I participated in a small Story Corps group, where perhaps a dozen people gathered together to write stories that can be read aloud in four minutes and will be broadcast soon on our local PBS station. Over three evenings (and at home in between), we crafted little but mighty stories that revealed some powerful experiences of our lives. We read them to one another on the last night. A few were hilarious; some were serious; others caused tears of sorrow.

I have no idea of the political affiliations of the people in the group. Around that table, it didn’t matter at all. What mattered was that we had come together to share some of the important truths of our lives. As we listened with respect, we were reminded how much we are alike. Not how different we are, but how much alike, with our joys and sorrows and a deep desire to be understood and accepted.

The rock in the photo at the top of this blog was brought to our group by a woman who fell into deep grief after her son died. She was lost until she found a group that gets together to paint rocks. Yes, to paint rocks, which they then distribute to others or leave around town to be happily discovered. This process and the support of that community has sustained her and helped her begin the healing process. In a sweet gesture, she brought rocks of various sizes and shapes, with many different images painted on them, for all of us. We happily accepted. This rock now sits on my desk where I see it many times a day. It brings me joy in these dark times.

In addition, even when I feel I can do nothing else, I am doing my best to be as kind as I can to others in my sphere of influence. I do my best to be of service, in my weekly volunteering with people undergoing chemo and monthly as I help to cook and serve dinner at a local homeless shelter. And I offer my journaling work, so that people can write to discover their own joy.

I remember a quotation from Wendell Berry: “Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts.” I can be joyful—there is still much for which to be joyful—even as I consider the troubling facts of our national transition. I am still struggling to discover my best responses while maintaining my integrity and advocating for what I believe is right. But I will continue to infuse my story with joy, with this new talisman to remind me.


Here are some prompts to help you explore our national transition, which of course is yours too.

What brings you joy in dark times?

What stories do you tell yourself about current events and the people involved? How do you feel after you tell them to yourself?

How might you offer joy to someone currently facing a painful time in their Story?

What is your vision of the best future for our country?

16 replies
  1. Ken
    Ken says:

    Though I had an idea of what this entry would be about, I had no idea how good a job you would do putting it together. I found myself moved by it and a bit more certain of my own path during this heartbreaking time in our lives. I’m certainly glad the trouble is the outside and not the inside of our time together. Well done my sweet.

  2. Valarie Lee James
    Valarie Lee James says:

    Oh, I love this post. Smart perspective, beautiful clean writing… a breath of fresh air. And I love that quote and the idea itself: To choose joy… though one has considered the facts otherwise. Yes!

  3. Ina
    Ina says:

    Thank you for offering a different perspective on the current divisiveness present in our country.

  4. Mark Lamb
    Mark Lamb says:

    Dear Barbara,

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful and insightful blog post.

    I also treasure my rock in memory of Ben.

    Blessings to you and all who are brave enough to tell.


  5. Linda Barnes
    Linda Barnes says:

    Lovely, Barbara, and a balm in these unbalanced times. It is the daily personal encounters that spread kindness and healing.

  6. Katherine Cox Stevenson
    Katherine Cox Stevenson says:

    Thank you Barbara. I live in Canada and many of us are deeply disturbed about what is going on in the U.S. This piece profoundly gives me hope. Thank you!!

  7. Barbara Stahura
    Barbara Stahura says:

    Glad my post gave you some hope, Katherine! I felt my hope rise as I wrote it, too. When I began writing, I didn’t really know where it would go. But I think the end result is good!

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